Sunday, 7 March 2004

Well 6 weeks to go till I get married. I can't wait. I'm not really nervous at all. The logistics of moving and things are what worries me. I am excited but also aware that this is such a big step in my life. The thing I am not happy about is the exhaustion. I am stuffed. With work and organising things and a lot of driving I haven't had much time for sleep. I feel like I need to get away but that is an impossible dream. Too much on between now and the big day.

I have been thinking about the whole 'bride' phenomena. I do think it is a really special time for me but also for my fiance. People are often saying to me that this is my time and that I should let other people do things for me and pretty much that I can have what I want. I don't really subscribe to that but I do think it is a really special time of transition. This is especially so because we haven't lived to gether yet and so we are not just getting married but also moving in and starting our life together rather than just as boyfriend and girlfriend. THis is something which wierd to so many people. There is also the important step of leaving Mum and Dad. I have been faltting for the last couple of years but I moved home to save for the wedding and also to spend some time with Mum and Dad before it is no longer possible. It feels like the reight thing to do, almost a tradition even though very few people do that now.

I am finding being at home with them tricky but it is helping me to realise that I am different and plan to do things differently in my life.

This week I have helped organise the 40 Hour Famine at my school. I am really excited about it and have decided to do it myself this year. Many people believe development organisations are problematic. I understand that feeling but I believe World Vision and other organisations like it are doing an amazing job at helping people take control of their lives. It is inspiring to see how passionate the students are. If only I could be so enthusiastc and react to need in such an open and generous way.

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