Monday, 13 December 2004

Yesterday Nick and I spent the day visiting a number of couples we know. They are all very different and are all choosing to live their lives in different ways. Some are staring their own businesses, some are starting families, others are enjoying just being a two some. By the end of the day I had really been struck by the freedom we have in life to go with our gut, to use our gifts and to create our own lives for ourselves. I think sometimes I worry too much about what I am supposed to be doing as if there is one right way and recipe for life. I think what really matters is that you live your life in a way where you can sleep well at night, you stay connected to family and friends and you are honest with yourself. I am hoping that as I have some time to reflect over the next few weeks that I will feel more comfortable and confident in my own skin and the gut instincts I have about how to live life. I hope that I will develop greater courage in my convictions and be ready to stick with them into the New Year.

As next year looms before me I have to say that going back to teaching does not fill me with glee. I am hoping that after a relaxing holiday I will feel more enthusiastic. But I do feel that in the next couple of years I really need a change. I haven't ever really left school, I went straight from college to Uni and then straight into teaching. So maybe I need something to give me some perspective and to try something more unfamiliar and less comfortable.

Wednesday, 8 December 2004

This is the last day of school for the year. Last week I was away on Year 10 camp. I chose to go because I wanted a week away from school dramas and end of year madness. Things always wind up before they wind down. The camp consisted of lots of tramping adn high ropes activities. I am definitely not that courageous when it comes to heights. But the tramping was so good. I had been a bit nervous about whether I would be able to keep up with the students. I needn't have worried. Many of them puffed their way up the hills at my kind of pace and some I believe thought they were having near death experiences! I enjoyed tramping in the soft rain, enjoying the bush and thinking about life. It was so lovely to have some space to think.

So today ends my first half year at my new job. I have to say I am really enjoying it. I have had som many new challenges as well as making some wonderful friends. However I feel burnt out. Too much getting up early, holding it together all day and then staying up late just because I don't want the process to begin again. I think I am just palin tired, like most people at this time of the year. I desperatley want the energy and motivation to get more organised for next year. And maybe I will have that when I am choosing to spend my time on school rather than being forced to. However I must count my blessings for thsi wonderful job of teahing. Not many people get to work in such a dynamic and interesting job with wonderful people, both staff adn students, and have such great holidays! And on top of that, in some small way I could possibly change the world!

So here's to holidaying well, reflecting on the year and getting back to the things that really matter. May I not just survive, but live again!