Saturday, 12 November 2005
I have trouble knowing my own mind. I am often so impressed and excited about other people's lives that I think I want to do what they are doing. I do think this can come from a healthy desire for role models. I guess Jesus is an example of a healthy role model. However, I often find myself lost in confusion as I look at other people and the directions they are heading in and think " I want to do that too". Then I lost perspective on what I want. I used to be so clear about things and so sure of where I was heading but in the last year or two I have become more and more unsure. I guess part of it is that I have been working for a few years and things in life have been somewhat settled for the last year or so and I am in the "Now what?" phase. So many things look tempting but my greatest fear is regret and that I will choose the wrong thing and then regret it. No-one teaches you about this when you are little. Should I make decisions based on feelings, the practical details or somewhere in between? Also when things have been settled for a while it is easy to make change for changes sake. I want to be inspired by others but still remain in touch with my own sense of direction and purpose.