Monday, 13 June 2011

A search for a home

There are many reasons for my lack of posts recently but the main one is that we have started looking for a house to buy. Suddenly, after years of being mildly bemused by our friends who were buying their own places we wanted our own patch of dirt to call home. It helps that it wasn't so much of a fantasy thanks to the saving we have been doing. And there we were, bright eyed and bushy tailed, naively extolling the joys of open homes and the excitement of finding our special place.

That was a few months ago and the thrill of the chase and hunt has definitely worn off. I know, I know everyone told me how stressful and agonising the whole process is but despite the advice we still believed it would be great. I mean, for years I have trawled real estate websites finding properties that would be wonderful for us. And just as we start looking it seems like there is nothing that would suit us. Well it seems that way. It is a bit tricky when you are looking for a place with room for the chickens, beehives and the dream vege garden!

The most intense part for us is how the whole process slams us up against our values and priorities and how easy it is to get focussed on dollars and nothing else. When life seems divided into price brackets and each photo seems to reveal an idyllic, wide angle, open plan lifestyle with character features, you can be forgiven for thinking that with a bit more cash the dream life and family could be yours.

It has really tested what we would be prepared to sacrifice. Would we sacrifice the priorities of family time, peace and people for the chance to live in that 'perfect' house? Or can we live and be content in a home which might not be picture perfect and needs some serious TLC? And it also highlights that hubby and I are different people and have very different personalities. I am all about completing the task and I never waited long enough for God to grant me patience. Hubby is phlegmatic to his core. He makes decisions with his gut but slowly and slow doesn't always work for me, or for house buying. But he is true to his values because he is prepared to wait for the dream. Where as I have quickly decided that the dream is a fantasy and we should settle for something less, actually the house we just saw. And he has to deal with me raving all the apparent positives about the place, despite the fact that he does not want to live there. And the raving goes on for quite a while, only ceasing for meal breaks. Often for days. Yes I am am sometimes that awful to live with. But to be fair he cannot give me many reasons not to buy it. It is just not right and not what we have said we want. Slowly I realise he might be right and that I will not spontaneously combust with frustration by not buying a house NOW. He is a patient man.

Today I was in such a state about it all that I asked a friend to pray for me. She said she felt God was saying that two things would be clarified by the end of the day. I thought "Ooh wouldn't that be nice" and thought it would mean what we were going to have for dinner and that I need to be patient...
Instead as I was spending some time feeding Ella and I realised that the pressure to buy a house is actually a choice. And we have a great place to live now. So I can wait. And I do want to wait for the dream. And in the mean time we can carry on with life. We don't have to suspend life while house hunting. So I feel less frustrated and feel more empowered that I can choose how to approach this. I am not a victim of circumstance. I am choosing to wait for the right place when it is right for us both. That was followed by a call from hubby who had made a major decision about work and had some major dilemmas sorted. So tonight we are celebrating clarity, times two! And who said prayer doesn't work! And to add to the joy we have another house on the radar to get all excited about. It is enough to complete exhaust a girl. So I off I go to bed to rest up for whatever is ahead.

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