Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Boundaries are a compromise

So last night we tried to start the night weaning process. The plan was for me to go out for a walk while hubby helped Ella get to sleep without me feeding her to sleep. Well and hour and a half later we concluded that this was a very silly idea. I had a lovely walk and after hubby being locked in the room for a very long time with a very upset child who had no interest in sleeping without Mama. And within five minutes of me feeding her she was blissfully asleep.

So boundaries require some compromise and no matter what grand plans I have for putting limits on what I will give to Ella, she is the child and I am the adult and I am the one who can shift. In this case she is not ready for things to change.

So the compromise is that I will still go for a walk and hubby will read stories and have some one on one time with Ella. And when I get back I will feed her to sleep. I get some space and some exercise and Ella gets time with Daddy and what she needs at the moment to get to sleep.

This may not work for long and we may need to rethink things again. But nothing is forever and I guess the only certainty is that by 16 years old Ella will not be being breastfed to sleep :)


  1. Sarah Silvester12:30 pm

    It is such an emotional time weaning, with Lauren we did just what you are - Dad did reading and cuddling and singing, the same songs each time - and it did work eventually, now those things mean sleep rather than milk. I hope that when it's right for you all it just evolves naturally into something that works for you all and as a bonus the Daddy bonding is quite special :)

  2. Good on you! Neither jellyfish nor brick wall...

  3. Oh, and for the record, we did the "going to sleep without Mum" long after the "going BACK to sleep without Mum" process.

    If Dad can be the one to respond when Ella wakes during the night, this lifts a load. Note also that Alex was about 2 1/2 before we tried even that, and almost 3 before we did "going to sleep without Mum", and it worked with only transitional upset.