Thursday, 3 April 2008

faith is quite the conundrum...

I have been dealing with faith over the last few weeks. With all I went through last year it taught me that anything can happen in life and that I need to depend on God. Now I am facing the fact that if I am really honest I struggle to believe many of the promises in the Bible. I can see all the exceptions where faithful people have terrible things happen to them, despite prayer and trusting God. Also, the world is not perfect and I have really learnt that, so I have often found it easier to believe God will help me pick up the pieces when life falls apart, rather than believing he will act to stop it falling apart in the first place.

I believe it is dangerous to believe bad things happen to people because they don't have enough faith, but I also thing it is sad that I expect the worst often or at least do not commit my life and the situations I face to God.

Apparently faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain, but can I risk the mountain falling on me if God chooses not to act? Is that what a good father would do? How else can explain the suffering of the good Christians I know.

I hope and pray God will teach me how to have faith without being in denial of what I feel and fear.

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