Sunday, 19 December 2010

Christmas Stocktake

My lack of posts recently is really reflective of a general feeling that my life is too full. And adding blogging to my life which seems to already be bursting at the seams, seemed impossible. But as I have been lying awake at night in the awful Auckland humidity I have been wondering how things ended up like this and conducting a little stocktake of my life.

I am not one for New Year's resolutions. They are always made in a fit of idealism and never seem to be achieveable in my actual life. It is also a little depressing when they are the same every year. Maybe 10 years on this year will be different? Somehow I don't think so. They also seem to feed into my tendency for perfectionism and unrealistic expectations for myself. I went through a phase where I just felt allergic to goal setting at all. Now I seem to have reached some sort of happy medium where I want to reflect on how my life is going and what I enjoy and what I would like to change. But no crazy goals which just lead to disappointment and seem to be based on some other version of me who needs and cape and to wear her undies on the outside.

The pre Christmas madness is the perfect time for a stocktake of my life. It highlights my priorities and the imbalances. It also is the time I feel the most strung out it limits what I think I can manage so stops me from being unrealistic. And I tend to be focussed on what is truly important and my values.

So the short version is that I need to take better care of myself and do less. I need to stop thinking of new things I 'should' do and enjoy doing less. If I see a problem around me it doesn't mean it is mine to solve. And that I am an adult and try to deal with my own issues so the other adults around me should do the same and I don't have to try to keep everyone happy.

The practical side of this is:
  •   one day a week as an at home day.
  • work on my fitness and sort out my back pain. 
  • I love to write so make blogging a priority and something I do for me.
  • Remember that I work so I can't act like I am at home everyday and do all the things that Mums who are at home can commit to.
  • Spend more time with my hubby
  • Focus on enjoying now rather than planning the next thing.
  • No more commitments! I have enough in my life to be doing right now.

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