Wednesday, 18 May 2005

I have had an inspiring day with my work colleagues. We had a day of thinking about how things have been going and where we want to go from here. Sometimes my job can get quite depressing. You never feel like you finish anything and never quite do enough and could always do better. But I do think it is true that without a vision the people perish. One of the women I work with told us why she came to teach at my school. It was inspiring and liberating to hear the hope she has and the exctiement she feels about facing challenge and being part of change. Often these kind of days are very airy fairy adn nothing practical comes out of them but we came up with a whole lot of practical ways we can use to improve the way we do things.

Yesterday I felt that there was nothing I wanted more than to walk out the front gate and never come back. It was one of those gloomy, wet and humid Auckland days where the school smells like only schools can and everything seems dreary. I was walking up the stairs for about the 5 th time that day and I just thought "I've got to get out of this place"(imagine the sound track of Good Morning Vietnam). But today has given me fresh energy and enthusiasm. I know why I am here and there are things I can do and offer that could change the future for the department and the school. I also feel the need to grow up, to move on from needing everything to feel exciting and to be prepared to persevere even though I don't really feel like it. I am going to try not to talk about leaving teaching and focus on the things I want to do here in the near future. Though I know there are other things for me in the future I know that right now is not the time to find out what they are.

So I am going to stick it out and dig it in and any other expression for keeping on keeping on that you can think of. It is just another example of me having to accept the reality of being an adult!

1 comment:

  1. "I've got to get out of this place" was one of our seventh form songs. A hit in 87, we sang it enthusiastically in the common room....