Saturday, 30 March 2013

Great Expectations

As I drove home from work on Thursday I was really aware of all the traffic heading away on holiday and I started thinking about the fact that it really hadn't dawned on me that it was the beginning of a holiday weekend. I guess it's cause we hadn't planned to go away. We were planning an at home weekend with the sole goal being to get the vege garden ready for winter. I was excited about hubby being around for four days in a row, the first time since Christmas. But I had to do a bit of positive self talk as I drovem towards the beginning of the Easter weekend, to make sure I had realistic expectations.

It has taken the last three years for me to fully understand and accept that once you have kids a holiday weekend or any holiday for that matter, is not a holiday. At least not by traditional definitions. It has taken a while to change from thinking that I will be able to sleep in, read books, have some me time, go out when I like, go away camping/road tripping just cause it is a long weekend. I mean there are some very practical reasons why holidays are different now, but I have had quite a few where I have had this sense of frustration and disappointment since becoming parents.

I get crabby and short tempered. I try to give myself a break from housework but then end up feeling depressed by the mess. Ella gets bored and we all start getting at each other cause somehow we are trying to still have a DINKY (double income no kids) holiday when there is nothing DINKY about our lives. All because my expectations don't match my reality.

But not this time. As I drove home I told myself that this weekend would be great. But it would still involve the housework, cooking, caring for both kids and all the other normal, hum drum stuff. But it would be different cause hubby would be home and we could do some different things, and I could have some naps, and we might catch up with some friends, or cook some yummy meals. But I would not spend four days doing whatever I felt like. Cause holidays are different now.

I was talking to a friend who has gone away with her extended family to a bach. I think there will be three generations and a total of about 5 kids of various ages. I made a hesitant "oh" as she told me. She assured me that it would be fun, but it wasn't going to be a rest and she would be busy. She inspired me by showing me that by having realistic expectations I wouldn't be feeling a tension between my hopes and my reality. Instead I could enjoy it for what it is.

And I am. What a quiet but lovely time I am having. I have had a nap, done about 5 loads of washing, been out for icecream with Ella and now will go tidy up and do the dishes. A lovely long weekend where my expectations are met and I am satisfied. How unusual!

1 comment:

  1. I have exactly the same issue with holidays, and yes I get so disappointed, depressed, and stressed by all the chaos and mess from me taking a holiday! One day when we are old and our kids have left home???